I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, north and South Carolina,
Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the
new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. 

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of
the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to
all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between
us.

Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These
toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2.Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't
smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can
handy.

3.Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one
time and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4.You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when
Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
Elliott and Petty.

5."Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely
to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6.As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7.The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing
area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the
Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol
cars crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,
the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

Here is a game to play featuring Michael Jackson at the Balcony in Berlin:

http://www.kicken.com/funnyfiles/WackoJacko.swf

Interview with God

And down below, we see it finally happened!

 

Have you been reading a chapter a day as discussed last week?

I have, and liked the first book.  I wrote to them as follows:

Suzanne,
When I received your mail today, you offered us a sample of Unexpected, but only gave us the web address: http: www.emailbookclub.com/expect6.html.
You did not give it to us in color with a link like this: http://www.emailbookclub.com/expect6.html
I have learned that many people are not capable of cutting and pasting an address into theAddress Box on their navigation bar.  They must be told to simply left click on it.  If they can't be told, they might access it if they move their mouse cursor over it, and see the new symbol.
       And for those of us who are savy enough to recognize it and click on it, it saves us time.
       As a web master for two years, I offer this advice to make Chapter a Day more user friendly.  Please pass my message onto your web person, and thank you for the work you do for us.  I have told my friends about CaD, and I enjoy my 5 minutes of daily reading.
Peter
PS A good book to add on immediately prior to the Holidays is A Christmas to Remember (or Forget?) by Mr. Mulligan.  He is a Sherlock Holmes expert and retired AP reporter.
 

The theme for the windows at Sachs Fifth Avenue this year is Fairy tales.

At St. Patrick's they don't have the poinsettias around the altar.  21 years ago I worked all day helping to unload trucks with hundreds of poinsettias, that we placed in the cathedral.  Maybe next week.

Here are Ed and Rita with us outside the Grand Ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria.

The answer is that it is an acronym for the names of mythological heroes. The first I forget. The second is Hercules. The fourth is Zeus. Maybe Apollo, Achilles or Atlas and Mars or Medusa are in there too. When Captain Marvel said SHAZAM, he gained all their powers.

Here's another trivia question:  The Iona College Pipe Band at the Waldorf played the traditional Scottish Bagpipe song we all know.  What is it's name, and what is the first line of this song?