Best E-mails of the Week 11/11/01

Welcome to the first week on the new web site!

HEADLINE STORIES FOR THE YEAR 2035

1. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
2. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.
3. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)
4. Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
5. George Z. Bush says he's raised billions of dollars and will run for President in 2036.
6. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
7. Nursing home event... Bill Clinton claims he did not have sex with that candy striper.
8. Texas executes last remaining citizen.
9. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
10. Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.
11. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
12. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.
13. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.
14. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
15. New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

Here's a new deodorant on the market:

More World Trade Center Disaster pictures:

It's best to view these 66 .jpg pictures by clicking back after each one.

(Photos 51, 55, 56 and 59 are gruesome, and need not be viewed.)

http://www.tch.org/~russb/wtc/

Gerry, We're looking forward to riding this contraption next time we visit you in Florida!

http://www.flyingbeachboat.com/

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note,
"Take only one, God is watching."
Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies.
A boy wrote a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

For Nancy, Mary, Ann, Ann Marie, Gil, Roger, etc.

On the 6th day, God created men & women.
On the 7th day, He rested. Not so much to recuperate, but rather to prepare himself for the work He was going to do the next day. For it was on the 8th day that God created the teacher. This teacher though, taken from among men and women had several significant modifications. In general, God made the teacher more durable than other men and women.
The teacher was made to arise at a very early hour and to go to bed no earlier than 11:30 PM. With no rest in between. The teacher had to be able to withstand being locked up in an air-tight room with 35 little monsters on a rainy Monday. And the teacher had to be fit to correct 103 term papers over Easter vacation.
Yes, God made the teacher tough - but gentle too. The teacher was equipped with soft hands to wipe away the tears of the neglected and lonely student... of the 16 year old girl who was not asked to the prom.
And into the teacher God poured a generous amount of patience. Patience when a student asks to repeat the directions the teacher has just repeated for someone else.
Patience when the kids forget their lunch money for the 4th day in a row. Patience when 1/3 of the class fails the test. Patience when the text books haven't arrived yet, and the semester starts tomorrow.
And God gave the teacher a heart slightly bigger than the average human heart. For the teacher's heart had to be big enough to love the kid who screams, "I hate this class-it's boring!" and to love the kid who runs out of the class at the end of the period without so much as a good bye
or a thank you.
And lastly, God gave the teacher an abundant supply of hope. For God knew that the teacher would always be hoping. Hoping that the students would one day learn to spell... Hoping not to have lunchroom duty...hoping that Friday would come... hoping for a free day... hoping for deliverance.
When God finished creating the teacher, he stepped back and admired the work of his hands. And God saw that the teacher was good. Very Good. And God smiled, for when he looked at the teacher, he saw into the future. He knew that the future is in the hands of the teachers.
And because God loves teachers so much, on the 9th day God created: "SNOW DAYS."

No snow here yet, but plenty of football action today. Go Gints and Jets!

Pete