Best E-mails of the Week    10/27/02

HOW THE SOFTWARE INDUSTRY WORKS
>
>Programmer to Team Leader:
>
>"We CAN NOT do this proposed project. It will involve a major
>design change and no one in our team knows the design of this
>system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the
>language in which this application has been written. If you
>ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these
>type of projects."
>
>Team Leader to Project Manager:
>
>"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we
>don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work.
>Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to
>arrange for some training if we take this project. In my
>personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of
>this nature."
>
>Project Manager to 1st Level Manager:
>
>"This project involves a design change in the system and we
>don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many
>people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In
>my personal opinion, we would need more time than usual to
>complete it."
>
>1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager:
>
>"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some
>people who have worked in this area and others who know the
>implementation language. So they can train other people. In
>my personal opinion we should take this project, but with
>caution."
>
>Senior Level Manager to CEO:
>
>"This project will demonstrate to the industry our cap-
>abilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy
>system. We have all the necessary skills and people to
>execute this project successfully. Some people have
>already given in house training in this area to other
>staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not
>let this project slip by us under any circumstances."
>
>CEO to Client:
>
>"This is the type of project in which our company specializes.
>We have executed many projects of the same nature for many
>large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most com-
>patent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It
>is my personal opinion that we can execute this project
>successfully and well within the given time frame."

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest said,

"It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats.

It worked. The front of the church fills first."

The young priest nodded and the old one continued,

"And you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church,

so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir.

We are packed to the balcony."

"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest.

"I am pleased you are open to the new ideas of youth." "Well", said the elderly priest,

"I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru Confessional.

"But Father," protested the young priest. "My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!

I know, my son," replied the old man. "But that flashing neon sign,

 "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell", can't stay on the church roof!

Here's a picture of our latest project. You might recall that the neighbors

Since we worked so hard on this project, we decided to buy a new car. But I had to fix the old one first. 

Forgetting everything I ever knew about cars, I went to the local garage and asked for a seven hundred ten. 

The mechanics all looked at each other and asked, "What is a  seven-hundred-ten?"  I replied, "You know,

the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one."
 
 They gave me a piece of paper and a pen and asked me to draw what the piece
 looked like. I drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
 The mechanic then took me over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, "is
 there a 710 on this car?"
 
 I pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

I wish Greg was around to help with my automotive needs.

with more hair on his chin than his head!

And here is the 710 part I was asking about!

 Pete