Best E-mails of the Week    10/20/02

      ODE TO THE GOLF BALL

> > IN MY HAND I HOLD A BALL,
> > WHITE AND DIMPLED, RATHER SMALL.
> >
> > OH, HOW BLAND IT DOES APPEAR,
> > THIS HARMLESS LOOKING LITTLE SPHERE.
> >
> > BY IT'S SIZE I COULD NOT GUESS,
> > THE AWESOME STRENGTH IT DOES POSSESS.
> >
> > BUT SINCE I FELL BENEATH ITS SPELL,
> > I'VE WANDERED THROUGH THE FIRES OF HELL.
> >
> > MY LIFE HAS NOT BEEN QUITE THE SAME,
> > SINCE I CHOSE TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME.
> >
> > IT RULES MY MIND FOR HOURS ON END,
> > A FORTUNE IT HAS MADE ME SPEND.
> >
> > IT MAKES ME YELL AND CURSE AND CRY,
> > I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE.
> >
> > IT PROMISES A THING CALLED PAR,
> > IF I CAN HIT IT STRAIGHT AND FAR.
> >
> > TO MASTER SUCH A TINY BALL,
> > SHOULD NOT BE VERY HARD AT ALL.
> >
> > BUT MY DESIRES THE BALL REFUSES,
> > AND DOES EXACTLY AS IT CHOOSES.
> >
> > IT HOOKS AND SLICES, DRIBBLES AND DIES,
> > AND EVEN DISAPPEARS BEFORE MY EYES.
> >
> > OFTEN IT WILL HAVE A WHIM,
> > TO HIT A TREE OR TAKE A SWIM.
> >
> > WITH MILES OF GRASS ON WHICH TO LAND,
> > IT FINDS A TINY PATCH OF SAND.
> >
> > THEN HAS ME OFFERING UP MY SOUL,
> > IF ONLY IT WOULD FIND THE HOLE.
> >
> > IT'S MADE ME WHIMPER LIKE A PUP,
> > AND SWEAR THAT I WILL GIVE IT UP.
> >
> > I'VE TAKEN TO DRINK TO EASE MY SORROW,
> > BUT THE BALL KNOWS ... I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW

Cirque du Soleil gets high grades. If you can see this show near your area, do so!

But have a strong heart, while watching aerialists without safety nets!

Here are two poems. Audrey Hepburn wrote the first when she was asked
 to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.

> > > >For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
> > > >For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
> > > >For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
> > > >For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
> > > >For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
> > > >People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
> > > >reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
> > > >Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the
           end of each of your arms.
> > > >As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for
> > > >helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
 

OCTOBER HARVEST SEASON RELIGIOUS POEM

The harvesting has begun,

and fields full of ripened grain

are stripped of their abundance.

A summer full of intense growing

is swept away by huge, hungry machines.

As I look at earth's barrenness

after the reaping and gathering,

it seems to me she does not begrudge

the giving of that which grows and ripens.

 THE TOP TEN REASONS GOD CREATED EVE :)

 10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions.

 9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote.

(Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON television,

they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.)

 8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment.

 7. God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself.

 6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.

 5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never

be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.

 4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools.

 3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault.

 2. As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone." And the Number One reason of all

{ta da, drum roll, fanfare, etc.}

 1. God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that.

Here is niece Allison during her first skydive last week.

The happy angel in heaven with head instructor Joe.

After taking that picture of her, Jim lands first.

Allison with her friends who jumped, Jim and club members.

Happy Birthday Allison!

Uncle Pete