Best E-mails of the Week 10/17/04.
Four retired guys are walking down a street in Phoenix, AZ. They turn a corner and see a sign that says
"Old Timer's Bar" " ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!"
They look at each other, and then go in.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room: "Come on in and let me pour one for you; what'll it be, gentlemen?"
There seems to be a fully stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini.
In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis -- and says: "That'll be 10 cents each, please."
They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent lessthan a dollar. Finally. one of the men couldn't stand it any longer and asks the bartender "How can you afford to serve martinis as
good as these for a dime apiece?"
"Here's my story. I'm a retired cop from New York, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million anddecided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same."
"Wow. That's quite a story" says one of the men.
The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink infront of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says,
"They're seniors from Florida, they're waiting for Happy Hour."
No offense Gerry or Sue!
Maybe we'll see some fish like this when we visit Florida later this year.
THE BEST BLOND JOKE EVER
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:
"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES""?
The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"?
She immediately says "One". The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know".
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES".
She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm – wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?"
To hear her response to the question "How many D's are in Indiana Jones?" Double -Click this è
Dad, Nancy and Allison deliver and stack firewood at the patio area.
Lou and Joanne split the firewood while Jim poses with mom.
Politics
And on the other side:
I'm trying to get all
this political stuff straightened out in my head
>so I'll know how to vote come
November. Right now, we have one guy saying
>one thing. Then the other guy
says something else. Who to believe. Lemme
>see; have I got this straight?
>
>Clinton awards Halliburton no-bid
contract in Yugoslavia - good...
>Bush awards Halliburton no-bid
contract in Iraq - bad...
>
>Clinton spends 77 billion on war
in Serbia - good...
>Bush spends 87 billion in Iraq -
bad...
>
>Clinton imposes regime change in
Serbia - good...
>Bush imposes regime change in
Iraq - bad...
>
>Clinton bombs Christian Serbs on
behalf of Muslim Albanian terrorists-
>good...
>Bush liberates 25 million from a
genocidal dictator - bad...
>
>Clinton bombs Chinese embassy -
good...
>Bush bombs terrorist camps -
bad...
>
>Clinton commits felonies while
in office - good...
>Bush lands on aircraft carrier in
jumpsuit - bad...
>
>No mass graves found in Serbia -
good...
>No WMD found Iraq - bad...
>
>Stock market crashes in 2000
under Clinton - good...
>Economy on upswing under Bush -
bad...
>
>Clinton refuses to take custody
of Bin Laden - good...
>World Trade Centers fall under
Bush - bad...
>
>Clinton says Saddam has nukes -
good...
>Bush says Saddam has nukes -
bad...
>
>Clinton calls for regime change
in Iraq - good...
>Bush imposes regime change in
Iraq - bad...
>
>Terrorist training in Afghanistan
under Clinton - good...
>Bush destroys training camps in
Afghanistan - bad...
>
>Milosevic not yet convicted -
good...
>Saddam turned over for trial -
bad...
>
>Ahh, it's so confusing!
>
>Every year an independent tax
watchdog group analyzes the average tax
>burden
>on Americans, and then calculates
the "Tax Freedom Day". This is the day
>after which the money you earn
goes to you, not the government. This year,
>tax
>freedom day was April 11th.
That's the earliest it has been since 1991.
>It's
>latest day ever was May 2nd,
which occurred in 2000. Notice anything
>special about those dates?
>
>Recently, John Kerry gave a
speech in which he claimed Americans are
>actually paying more taxes under
Bush, despite the tax cuts. He gave
>no explanation and provided no
data for this claim.
>
>Another interesting fact: Both
George Bush and John Kerry are wealthy men.
>Bush owns only one home, his
ranch in Texas. Kerry owns 4 mansions,
>all worth several million
dollars. (His ski resort home in Idaho is an old
>barn
>brought over from Europe in
pieces. Not your average A-frame).
>
>Bush paid $250,000 in taxes this
year; Kerry paid $90,000. Does that
>sound right? The man who wants
to raise your taxes obviously has figured
>out a way to avoid paying his
own.
>
RealClearPolitics Poll AverageSM 3-Way Race: Bush/Cheney vs Kerry/Edwards vs Nader/Camejo Send This Page to a Friend | Graph: RCP Historical Poll Average
|
Inventions from Japan! | |
Pete
Back to the Best E-mails Home Page