Best E-mails of the Week    9/15/02


 

 

This is a Christian site about 911 with music by Manheim Steam Roller.

WHERE WERE YOU


 

A Guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first
time.
  After the game He asked his girlfriend how She liked the game?
  "Oh, I really liked it," She said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."
  "What on earth do you mean???"
  "Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
 

_________Humor.com Joke of the Day______

Coffee Break

A blonde was recently hired at an office.  Her first task was
to go out for coffee.  Eager to do well her first day on the job,
she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came
over to take her order.  She asked, "Is this big enough to hold
six cups of coffee?"  The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos,
hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah.  It looks
like about six cups to me."

"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief.  "Then give me two regular,
two black, and two decaf."
 

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one
 night he's doing a show in a small town in Kentucky.  With his dummy on
 his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a
 blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting,
 
 "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
 What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?  What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
 It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching their full potential as a person,
 because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against,
 not only blondes,  but women in general and all in the name of humor!"
 
 The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize,
 when the blonde yells,
 
 "You stay out of this, mister!  I'm talking to that
 little creep on your knee!
 
       A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the
beach  a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty
> much every day.
>                     She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she
carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.
>
>     Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander
off,  but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag.
>
>     The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the
cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.

>     After a couple of weeks the wife said,>
>     "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He hadn't, and said so.
>
>     Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio
and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really
doing."
>
>     Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost
hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her
husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the  road.
>
>     "Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.
>
>     "No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
>
>     "Well, What is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
>
>     The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
>
>     "Batteries?" cried the wife.
>
>     "Yes," he replied.
>
>     (Now this is going to kill you. . . .}
>
>     SCROLL DOWN ....
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>     (You're gonna hate me for this...
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>     "
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>     She sells C cells down by the sea shore
>
>
For some reason this reminds me of the native American who bought a membership in the yacht club for his son.
He wanted to have a red son in the sail set.

 
 
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, Who would like this $20 bill? Hands started
going up. He said, I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first,
let me do this. He proceeded to crumple the bill up. He then asked.

Who still wants it? Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied,
What if I do this? And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it
into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

Now who still wants it? Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we
 have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money,
you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth
$20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into
the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our
way.

We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or
what will happen, you will never lose your value: dirty or clean crumpled
or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The
worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE
ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it. If you do not pass this on,
you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to,
or the hope that it can bring. Count your blessings, not your problems.
Never be afraid to try something new.
And....

Remember that amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic

And remember, wealth is not measured by what you have, but by who you are.
 

 

 

Here is  my wife's sister's husband's son's sister's husband's son at 17 months.

Did I get you all in sunny Florida Sue?

 

 

 

 Here is a site that in no way represents Greg's UConn class schedule

http://www.chicagocircle.com/links/my_schedule.html

Some say we are a nation of office workers who sit on our butts all day in front of a monitor, and then we go home at night and sit on our butts in front of a monitor.

 

 


 

AND YOU THINK YOUR HAVING A BAD DAY AT WORK !!

 

Although this looks like a picture taken from a Hollywood movie, it is in fact a real photo,

taken near the South African coast during a military exercise by the British Navy.

 

 

 

Sure!  Here is another "real photo" that I fixed just like the hoax above that we all read about on AOL this past week.  But I made the shark gigantic!

 


 

Believing everything I see,

 Pete

 
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