Best E-mails of the Week 9/7/03

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to a dentist. "I want a tooth pulled and I don't want gas because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said.  "So just extract the tooth as quickly as possible and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed and said, "You certainly are a courageous woman.  Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

This is nuts!  Try it!

>
> FOOT / HAND COORDINATION
>
> While sitting, make clockwise circles with your right foot.
>
> While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
>
> Your foot will change direction.....and there is nothing you can do to
stop it!
>
> This is just one of the reasons that golf is such a difficult
undertaking.

The Bacon Tree



----- 
Back in the cowboy days, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food.
No other humans had been seen for days ... and then they saw an old Jewish
Rabbi, sitting beneath a tree.

The leader rushed to him and said, "We're lost and running out of food. Is
there someplace ahead where we can get food?" "

Vell, I tink so," the old Rabbi said, "but I vouldn't go up dat hill, und down de
udder side. Somevun tole me you'd run into a big bacon tree."

"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader.

"Yah, ah bacon tree. Vould I lie? ..... Trust me, I vouldn't go dere."

The leader goes back and tells his people what the Rabbi said. "So why did
he say not to go there?" some pioneers asked.

"Oh, you know those Jewish people -- they don't eat bacon."

So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly,
Indians are attacking from everywhere and they massacre all except the
leader who manages to escape back to the old Jewish Rabbi.

The near-dead man starts shouting, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We
followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of
Indians, who killed everyone but me."

The old Jewish man holds up his hand and says, "Oy..... vait a minute." He
then gets out an English-Yiddish dictionary, and begins thumbing through it.
"Oy Vey, I made myself such ah big mishtake! It vuzn't a bacon tree. It vuz a
ham bush."
 

 

 

Here is the track for Hurricane Isabel.  This might be the end of our gloriously sunny weather:

From Gerry's Florida condo friends Gary and Carol:

We're parents.  74 cigars!
We were not on the beach delivery room ourselves, but Stephanie of the Broward County Sea Turtle Conservation Program confirms the following:
Our condo's beach sea turtle nest was a big success:
       - 93.7 % hatch rate
       - 74 sets of baby sea turtle tracks leading to the ocean
       - No signs of any disorientation (babies heading inland rather than out to sea)
The conservation program people are pleased with the efforts of our building.  We installed new, low walkway lights last year, and in previous years shielded lights in the parking garage and outside globes.  I have probably mentioned it more than once, but artificial lighting confuses the young turtles, and they start to crawl inland rather than out to sea. Although we have had nestings in previous years on our beach, the environmental protection program has always moved the eggs to a safer locations before this. This year with our improvements, they felt comfortable leaving the nest for a natural hatch (two months incubation).  They get a better hatch rate on the natural sites in good locations than they do on the nests that are moved.
One small step...

Why we are proud to be Americans:

Dilbert is just too funny this week:

The masons working on the fireplace were pleased to cut two flues into a smoke chamber as shown.

Now we won't be needing the chimney sweep once we're settled!

Pete

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