Best E-mails of the Week 8/24/03
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the
salesman, "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of a computer
screen."
The surprised salesman replies: - "But, madam, computers do not need
curtains."
The blonde says "Hello, I've got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!"
Subject: Bob Hope
The Black Out
The blackout may
have been satellite photographed as shown,
though there is skepticism that this picture was
enhanced.
Seems believable to
me.
Joanne's teen
daughter Katie was in NYC that afternoon at a class when it hit, and the cell
phones didn't work.
Joanne was worried
that Katie couldn't contact her aunt Ellen, and with no trains running, the 60
mile walk home was out.
But the school
stayed open for the students, and Ellen came to the rescue.
I was glad to switch
to a new cell phone service when ours didn't work after we moved. T-mobile
allowed us to cancel
without paying like
$600 in cancellation fees. Here's one of the first pictures I took with the new
phone.
Wouldn't that look
nice in the new garage?
Speaking of High Tech, how 'bout
that new computer worm?
I kept getting e-mails this week
from strangers saying the e-mail I
sent them was inappropriate, but
eventually it stopped.
The new AOL 9.0 is out now.
Have you seen it? It's great.
Don't send me any e-mails with the
words Viagra, diet, mortgage
or any X-rated word, because the
new AOL spam filter doesn't
let it into my mail box.
Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD: Age
Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. (Not
me - I take Ginkgo)
This is how it manifests:
I decided to wash my car. As I started toward the garage, I spotted the mail
on the hall table. I should go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay the car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the
table, and notice that the trash can is full.
So, I put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I
might as well pay the bills first.
I see my checkbook on the table, but there is only one check left.My extra
checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk, where I find the
bottle of juice that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but
first I need to push the juice aside so that I don't accidentally knock it
over.
But the juice is getting warm, and should be put in the refrigerator to keep
it cold.
Heading toward the kitchen with the juice, a vase of flowers on the Counter
catches my eye. They need to be watered.
I set the juice down on the counter, and find my reading glasses, for which
I've been searching all morning.
I had better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the
flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and
suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table. Tonight when we sit down to watch TV, we
will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the
kitchen table.
I should put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the
flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the
floor.
So, I put the remote back down on the table, and get some towels to wipe up
the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm bottle of juice sitting on the counter,
the flowers aren't watered,
there is still only one check in my checkbook,
I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
I'm trying to figure out why nothing got done today; it's quite baffling
because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I know this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,
But first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you?
Forward this message to whoever you think might enjoy it, because I don't
remember who I've already sent it to.
This is a great site for
architecture lovers:
www.greatbuildings.com
Here are the
granite slabs we selected for the new kitchen. A perfect match to Mary's
dress, don't you think?
People who
passed by and saw what we were selecting commented that it was a bit much.
They must
have been talking about the price tag.
:}
Here's the latest house construction progress photo.
Deck the halls! Don't
tell GW about this deck, lest he lands an F-16 on it!
Our lumber yard sent a fax saying that plywood
prices were going from $14.00 per sheet to $19.00 per sheet.
The US government is buying all the lumber and plywood it can to send to
Iraq it said,
and there's very little left for us poor Americans. Sort of
like buying war bonds I guess.
Patriotic Pete
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