Best E-mails of the Week 8/17/03
Once upon a time
There lived a king. The King had a
beautiful daughter, the Princess.
But the kingdom was a sad place.
There was no laughter, and no joy.
The problem was, that
everything the Princess touched would melt.
No matter what, metal, wood
plastic...anything she touched would melt!!
Because of this, men were afraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired.
What could he do to help his
beautiful daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king, "If your
daughter touches one thing that
does not melt in her hands, she
will be cured."
The King was overjoyed. The next
day, he held a competition. Any man
who could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt at her
touch, would marry her and inherit
the King's wealth.
Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first Prince brought a very hard
alloy of titanium.
When the Princess touched it, it
melted. The Prince went away sadly.
The second Prince brought a huge
diamond, thinking that diamond is
the hardest substance in the world
and will not melt.
But, alas, once the Princess touched
it, it melted. He too went away disappointed.
The third Prince approached. He
told the Princess, "Put your hand
in this chalice, and feel what is in there."
The Princess did as she was told.
She felt something. She held
it in her hand...and it did not melt!!
The King was overjoyed!
Everybody in the kingdom was
overjoyed!
And the third Prince married the
Princess and the both lived
happily ever after.
The question is?!?!?!?
What WAS the object in the Prince's pocket???
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They were M&M's, of course.
THEY melt in your MOUTH,
NOT in your HAND!!
Today is my daughters 18th birthday......I'm so glad that this is my
last damn child support payment. Month after month, year after
year,....those damn payments. So I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and
when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last
check over to your mothers house and tell her this is the last damn check
she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to tell me the expression on
her face." So my baby girl took the check over to her.
I was so anxious to hear what the b&% had to say and what she looked
like.
As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "now what did she have
to say?"
"She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy....."
No Sue and Manfred are not in Minnesota in August, they are at Mount McKinley
CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH MARS
Never again in your (or my) lifetime will the Red Planet be so
spectacular. This July and August, Earth is catching up with mars, an
encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two
planets in recorded history.
The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way
Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can
only
be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000
years but it may be as long as 60,000 years. The encounter will
culminate
on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles and will be
(next
to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky.
It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds
wide.
At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full
moon to he naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of
August
Mars will rise in the east at 10 p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3
a.m.
But by the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise
at
nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 a.m. That's
pretty convenient when it comes to seeing something that no human has
seen
in recorded history.
So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow
progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this!
No one alive today will ever see this again.
Le maison
Pete
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