Best E-mails of the Week 7/28/02


Here is a list of interesting facts to LEARN while you are doing nothing
>else . . .
>
>        A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
>
>        A snail can sleep for three years.
>
>        Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the
>        child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
>
>        Butterflies taste with their feet.
>
>        Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
>
>        February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a
>        full moon.
>
>        If the population of China walked past you in single file, the
>        line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
>
>        In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
>
>        Leonardo DiVinci invented the scissors.
>
>        No word in the English language rhymes with month.
>
>        Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and
>        ears never stop growing.
>
>        Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
>
>        "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand,
>        "lollipop" with your right.
>
>        The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of
>        diesel that it burns.
>
>        The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they
>        start with.
>
>        The words 'racecar' and 'kayak' are the same whether they are
>        read left to right or right to left. Such words are called
>        palindromes. (Also my favorite: A Man, A Plan, A Canal Panama)
>
>        TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters
>        only on one row of the keyboard.
>
>        Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
>
>        If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will
>        spend an average of 6 months waiting at a red light.
>
>        In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed
>        on a watch face is 10:10.
>
>        The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze
>        completely solid.
>
>
>        Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks;
>        otherwise it will digest itself.
>
>        There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables.
>
>        There are two words in the English language that have all five
>        vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
>
>        There is a word in the English language with only one vowel,
>        which occurs five times: "indivisibility."
>
>        Crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live. That means
>        that if you put a baby croc in an aquarium, it would be little
>        for the rest of its life.
>
>        A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle; a group of geese in
>        the air is a skein
>
>        A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
>
>        Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye".
>
>        The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses
>        every letter of the alphabet.
>
>        The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a
>        letter is "uncopyrightable".
>
>        Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.
>
>        It's impossible to lick your elbow.
>
>        More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or
>        received a telephone call.
>
>        The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
>        toughest tongue twister in the English language...try it!
>
>        In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
>
>        The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
>
>        A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.
>
>        Most lipstick contains fish scales.
>
>        Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
>
>        NOW DON'T YOU FEEL SMARTER? OK, honestly--- did you try to lick
>        your elbow?
>
>



I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."

You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here illegally, but they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of Immigration.
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

(SCROLL DOWN....You'll love this!!!)











God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
> > While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through
the
> > Gates.  She saw a beautiful banquet table.  Sitting all around were her
> > parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before
> her.
> > They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello!  How are you!
> We've
> > been waiting for you!  Good to see you!"
> >
> > When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a
wonderful
> > place!  How do I get in?"
> >
> > "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
> >
> > "Which word?" the woman asked.
> >
> > "Love."
> >
> > The woman correctly spelled L-O-V-E and Saint Peter welcomed her into
> > Heaven.
> >
> > About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to
> watch
> > the Gates of Heaven for him that day.  While the woman was guarding the
> > Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
> >
> > "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
> >
> > "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
> "I
> > married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were
ill.
> > And then I won the lottery.  I sold the little house you and I lived in
> and
> > bought a big mansion.  My wife and I traveled all around the world.  We
> were
> > on vacation and I went water skiing today.  I fell, the ski hit my head,
> and
> > here I am.  How do I get in?"
> >
> > "You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
> >
> > "Which word?" her husband asked.
> >
> >
> >
> > "Czechoslovakia."
Hello Pete
 
    There was an interesting occurence for me during the course of my work
on Wednesday. I was asked to look at a lift which a man had purchased 2nd hand.
He would like me to reinstall it in his home. He was away when I arrived, so his 12 year old grandson, took me to
the garage where the unit was stored. It was a nice garage,  pretty big, 10 foot overhead door,
ceiling height over 15 feet, you could drive a truck in there. we went in a 3-0 6-8 door, it was sort
of dark, the lift was right there, so I began looking at it and measuring it etc.  As I am ,,,I'm sort of looking around, and seeing shelves everywhere, tools here and there, some racing posters and
various fixtures..........At this point, I kinda shuffled backward a bit and my right heel wound up floating
over what I thought was a small step in the floor...I looked immediately,,, as my balance began to tip,
thought, "oh this must be a small gutter, for drainage, or maybe a small step down, in the floor ,or maybe
a second level like I had just seen at Dad's jobsite..and
THEN<<<<REALIZED    (by looking past my right hip)  that this was a SERVICE PIT!!!!!!!!!, right
in the middle of the large bay!!!!!!!....Man!!!A BIG service pit. As I'm going over, I push HARD with both my legs and
FLY over the damn thing!!!and pile up on the floor across from where I started!!!! (It's agood thing there was some floor
space over there to land on) I jump up ,I  look at the thing, I  look at the kid,,, and blaspheme....."Jesus Christ!! why didn't you tell me THAT was there!!!!!!..???????.".....Wow...the kid is shakin'...I start shakin'!!!....I honestly NEVER saw it... When I went in the door the lift was right there, it caught my attention,,, and while I am a bit nosey, when I'm in somebody
else's place I try  not to be too obvious......I never expected there would be anything other than a cement floor over there.........Since I had my tape measure with me I measured the pit...It is 16 feet long, 4 feet wide, and 5 (FIVE!!!!!!) feet DEEP!!!!.....Wow. Oh yeah the kid,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,he says "I forgot"
hahahaha. As I drove home later that evening I reflected on two things,,,thank God, I didn't take a full step, back and to the right,,,,,and it's too bad,,,, but the price for THIS job,,, just went UP.... 300% !
Remember it's dangerous out there!!!, so why be afraid???. Just another day at the job.....Jim
 

 While we are discussing work perils, here's the latest on our new project:

 

Here is a great site to see how many famous people have changed their names. I wrote them that Diana Ross' middle name should have been spelled Ernestine, and they wrote me back. I am always interested to hear of people whose last name is a first name - like Paul Harvey.

http://www.famousnamechanges.com/html/welcome.htm

Hi Pete,
I think you're right! A small typo which I'll get onto straight away.
Thanks for your interest and input. Regards webmaster Clay Melbourne,
AUSTRALIA.

PS: What branch of engineering are you in? And how did you find my site?

Clay,

 Your site was mentioned in Parade magazine that comes with our Sunday newspaper.

I believe it was in a Hollywood type gossip question and answer column.
The r and n are often confused with an m.
I'm a civil engineer in Connecticut. Thanks for asking.
Pete
 

Pete

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