Best E

Best E-mails of the Week 7/25/03

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the
driveway, runs into the house, slams the door
and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack
your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband says, 'Oh my God! What should I
pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

Doesn't matter," she says.
Just get the hell out."

>Jewish Kosher Computer
>
>Made in Israel by DELLSHALOM
>
>It is selling at such a good price !!
>
>If you or a friend are considering a Kosher
>computer, you should know that there
>are some important ! upgrades and changes
>from the typical computer you are used to,
>such as:
>
>The cursor moves from right to left.
>
>Microsoft Office now includes,
>"A little byte of this,
>and a little byte of that."
>
>It comes with two hard drives-one for:
>fleyshedik (meat) business software
>and one for milchedik (dairy) games.
>
>Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault"
>error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt".
>
>The Chanukah screen savers
>include "Flying Dreidels".
>
>The PC also shuts down automatically
>at sundown on Friday evenings.
>
>The "Start" button has been replaced with the
>"Let's Go!! I'm Not Getting Any Younger!" button.
>
>When disconnecting external devices from the
>back of my PC, you are instructed to
>"Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
>
>Internet Explorer has a spinning
>"Star of David" in the upper right corner.
>
>You will hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
>When running "ScanDisk," it prompts with a
>"You want I should fix this?" message.
>
>When your PC is working too hard,
>you occasionally hear a loud "Oy!!!"
>
>Year 2000" issues were replaced by
>"Year 5760-5761" issues.
>
>After 20 minutes of no activity,
>your PC would go "Schloffen."
>
>Computer viruses would now be
>cured with chicken soup.
>
>There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from
>Manischewitz that advertises that it gets rid of
>the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor.
>
>After your computer dies,
>you MUST dispose of it within 24 hours.
>
>And of course the BEST Feature of all:
>
>Kosher Computers DON'T GET SPAM!

DOLPHIN STRESS TEST

It's a simple test designed to indicate whether people have too much
stress in their life.

It's a picture of two dolphins. The two dolphins appear normal when viewed
by a stress-free individual. This test is not accurate enough to pick
up mild stress levels.

It's quite simple. If there is anything that appears different about the
dolphins (ignore the fact of the slight color differences) it is often an
indication of potential stress related problems. Differences, if any, may
also indicate the source of your stress.

Sit upright and viewing the screen head-on, take a deep breath, breathe
out and then open the picture and look directly at it.

If there is anything out of the ordinary then you should consider taking
things a little easier..

click HERE to take the test
<http://webpages.charter.net/hkirtley/stress/01.htm>

or see below

And the winner is Seabiscuit!

Here's Man o War's descendent.

Played by six horses with Tobey Maguire

Was the Depression depressing or what?

Now published from my new digs,

Pete

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