Best E-mails of the Week 6/30/02

 

Hi Peter,

As usual, I've enjoyed your "Best e-mails of the week".  

 I'd like to share something with you that I read recently.  

Read it as a postscript to Anna Quindlen's commencement

speech to this year's Villanova grads.

           Life is a game and you are juggling five balls,
           "Work", "Family", "Health", "Friends", "Integrity"

           "Work" is a rubber ball.  If dropped, it will bounce
            back.
            The other four balls are made of glass.  Drop one
           of these and they'll be irrevocably shattered.

Hope we see you soon!

Love to you all,
Aunt Lorraine

*The Bible in 50 Words!
> *God made
> *Adam bit
> *Noah arked
> *Abraham split
> *Joseph ruled
> *Jacob fooled
> *Bush talked
> *Moses balked
> *Pharaoh plagued
> *People walked
> *Sea divided
> *Tablets guided
> *Promise landed
> *Saul freaked
> *David peeked
> *Prophets warned
> *Jesus born
> *God walked
> *Love talked
> *Anger crucified
> *Hope died
> *Love rose
> *Spirit flamed
> *Word spread
> *God remained...
> *Tag -- you're it ...
> Consider yourself hit by.
>                                            |
>                                            |
>                                            |
>                                            |
>                                        \   |   /
>                                         \  |  /
>                                          \ | /
>                                           \ /
>                                               
>                                           |  |
>                                    ___ |  |____
>                                  |____    ____|
>                                           |  |
>                                           |  |
>                                           |  |
>                                           |  |
>                                           |  |
>                                           |  |
>
> The Love Of GOD!
> TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW BEFORE THEY CAN TAG YOU.  TAG
SOMEONE TODAY,
> EXCEPT THE PERSON THAT HIT YOU.  SORRY, NO TAG
BACKS!

God with a cross, as in the Christian God? One nation under God? We had a big discussion last night on the word "Americans" to mean only those from the USA, as opposed to all people in this hemisphere from the Arctic to the Antarctic.  Should the song be "God bless USA"? If Americans tell the Palestinians to vote Arafat out, does that mean Peruvians want democracy there? Where exactly did Amerigo Vespucci land anyway? Not under the Verrazano Narrows bridge in NYC?  Did Giovanni da Verrazzano sail there? Who knows why those two bridge towers are three quarters of an inch out of parallel?

For a great web site on the Amazon River jungle in Peru, and tree top canopies, check out Explorama.com

GETTING MARRIED

    On their way to a justice of the peace to get married this couple
has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate
waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. In conversation while waiting they
wonder  if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally
shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first
time anyone ever asked. "Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple
sits for a couple of months and in conversation they begin to wonder if
they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of
it all. "What if it doesn't work out?, " they wonder, "Are we stuck
 together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month,
looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, " you can get
married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work
 out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced,
slams his clipboard onto the ground. What's wrong?" exclaims the
 frightened couple. "Jeez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three
months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going
to take for me to find a lawyer!?"


 

The Brewster Rooster

Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I
was young. He had several hundred young hens less than
a year old, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job
was  to fertilize the eggs.

My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that
didn't perform well went into the pot and was
replaced.
This took a lot of time. So, my uncle got a set of
tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. He could then
sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by
listening to the bells.

My uncle's favorite was Brewster Rooster. A very fine
specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning,
so Uncle John went to investigate.

Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells
a'ringing. Well, Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't
ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to
the next one.

Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the
county fair, and he was an overnight sensation.

The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize,
but also the Pullet Surprise!


Here is Justin with a 25 pound red snapper he caught this past week.

Manfred's got one too!
 

 

Our garden has small green tomatoes now. E-mail me if you want to hear a funny, but mature joke about gardens.

Juggling the integrity ball,

Pete
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