Best E-mails of the Week 06/20/04.
READ SLOWLY - THESE ARE CLEVER!! (Some new
ones here)
Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage
Burglarize: What a crook sees with
Control: A short, ugly inmate
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Eclipse: what an English barber does for a living
Eyedropper: a clumsy ophthalmologist
Heroes: what a guy in a boat does
Left Bank: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Misty: How golfers create divots
Paradox: two physicians
Parasites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist: a helper on the farm
Polarize: what penguins see with
Primate: removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief: what trees do in the spring
Rubberneck: what you do to relax your wife
Seamstress: describes 250 pounds in a size 6
Selfish: what the owner of a seafood store does
Sudafed: brought litigation against a government official
And last but not least : Subdued ...like a guy, like works on one of
those
Attack Submarines
As a licensed septic installer, I can appreciate that the Tigris is finally being cleaned up.
A G.I. stood guard this
week at a sewage treatment plant in Baghdad that restarted last month.
It is the first time in a decade or more that the Iraqi capital's sewage has been treated.
Anita,
How is Brad doing
as the longest day of the year approaches?
Did he hear President Bush's speech to the troops? Pete
Hi Pete,
He didn't mention hearing the speech. He had to travel into Baghdad for
training on the 16th and returned to camp today. I was thankful he called
to let me know he made it there safely, along with his return trip. He
was living the life of a general for a couple of days eating lobster and
swimming in the pool (at the general's house while he was out of town).
He said it was a nice break from the long hours at work.
We were wondering if he would be offered a promotion to Sergeant Major,
but found out he would have to delete his retirement orders in order to be
looked at. He declined, saying he wants to be home with his family. If
he would have been promoted that would have definitely meant another
deployment. Now it is time to start beginning the retirement process
again. He is hoping to get some time to work on that soon.
He is also working closely with some Iraqis. He has hired them to do
various jobs (electrical, concrete slabs, etc). He said that some would
offer food and other gifts for work, but the people he chose are very good
workers and haven't offered bribes.
When he called today I could hear the prayer song in the background.
Isn't that amazing? I can't imagine being in a place that is so different
from what we know and think traditional in the U.S.A.
Are you getting excited about your historical presentation? What is the
date again? (711) What else is going
on in your household? (Nothing important compared
to your household)
Love,
Anita
Anita, When Brad teaches the Iraqis that work skills and not bribes are rewarded, he does them and us a great service. How proud we all are of him! Happy Father's Day to Brad, you and Alexander. Pete |
Being a soldier is not easy. Here is a work schedule
for someone else in the defense service.
12 hour shifts for a straight week, then a week off, then a week on, etc.
Scheduled OT 4 Hours | |||||||||||||||||
Day Shift 0430-1700 | Holiday Worked | ||||||||||||||||
Night Shift 1630-0500 | Holiday Worked | ||||||||||||||||
Scheduled Leave | Holiday Leave | ||||||||||||||||
TDY |
S | M | T | W | T | F | S | S | M | T | W | T | F | S | S | M | T | W | T | F | S | S | M | T | W | T | F | S | |
Jun-04 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | |
Sunny | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Rick | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | ||||||||||
Ed | Annual Leave | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Gary | Leave | Leave | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Hawk | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | ||||||||||
Joanne | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |||||||||||||||||||
Jul-04 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | |
Ed | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |||||||||||||||||||
Joanne | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Sunny | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Hawk | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |||||||||||||||||||
Rick | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | Annual Leave | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |||||||||||||
Gary | Leave | Leave | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Aug-04 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | |
Joanne | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Ed | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Hawk | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |||||||||||||||||||
Sunny | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Rick | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |||||||||||||||||||
Gary | Leave | Leave |
Answers are at the end. Don't peak!
1. Name the Beatles.
_________________
_________________
_________________
_________________
2. Finish the line: "Lions and Tigers and Bears, ____ ____ !"
3. "Hey kids, what time is it?" _____ _____ _____ _____.
4. What do m&m's do? ____ ____ ____ ____, ____ ____ ____ ____
5. What helps build strong bodies 12 ways? _____ _____.
6. Long before he was Mohammed Ail, we knew him as _____ _____.
7. You'll wonder where the yellow went, ____ ____ ____ ____ ____
________.
8. Post-baby boomers know Bob Denver as the Skipper's "little buddy."
But we know that Bob Denver is actually Daub's closest friend, ______G._______
9. M-I-C: See ya' real soon; K-E-Y: _____? ____ _____ _____ _____!
10. "Brylcream: ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____."
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone _____ _____.
12. From the early days of our music, real rock 'n roll, finish this
line:
"I wonder, wonder, wonder...wonder who; ____ ______ _____ _____
_________?"
13. And while we're remembering rock n' roll, try this one:
"War...uh-huh,huh...yea; what is it good for? , ____ _____."
14. Meanwhile, back home in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending
battle for truth, justice, and _____ ____ _____.
15. He came out of the University of Alabama, and became one of the best
quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. He later went on to appear in a
television commercial wearing women's stockings. He is Broadway _____ ______.
16. "I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man. I'm strong to
the finish, ____ ____ ____ ___ ____. I'm Popeye the sailor man."
17. Your children probably recall that Peter Pan was recently played by
Robin Williams, but we will always remember when Peter was played by ______
______.
18. In a movie from the late sixties, Paul Newman played Luke, a ne'er
do well who was sent to a prison camp for cutting off the heads of parking
meters with a pipe cutter. When he was captured after an unsuccessful
attempt to escape, the camp commander (played by Strother Martin) used
this experience as a lesson for the other prisoners, and explained, "What we
have here, ____ ____ ____ ____ ___."
19. In 1962, a dejected politician chastised the press after losing a
race for governor while announcing his retirement from politics."Just think,
you won't have ____ ____ to kick around anymore."
20. "Every morning, at the mine, you could see him arrive; He stood six
foot six, weighed 245. Kinda' broad at the shoulder, and narrow at the
hip.
And everybody knew you didn't give no lip, ____ ____,____ ____ ____."
21. "I found my thrill, ____ ____ ____."
22. ____ ____ said, "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, ____ ____ ____."
23. "Good night, David." "____ ____,____."
24. "Liar, liar, ____ ____ ____."
25. "When it's least expected, you're elected. You're the star today.
____!
____ ____ ____ ____."
26. It was Pogo, the comic strip character, who said, "We have met the
enemy, and ____ ____ ____."
ANSWERS:
1. John, Paul, George, Ringo
2. Oh, my
3. It's Howdy Doody Time!
4. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
5. Wonder Bread
6. Cassius Clay
7. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
8. Maynard G. Krebbs
9. Why? Because we like you.
10. A little dab'll do ya.
11. Over 30
12. Who wrote the book of love
13. Absolutely nothin'
14. The American way
15. Joe Namath
16. "Cause I eats me spinach"
17. Mary Martin
18. Is a failure to communicate
19. Richard Nixon
20. Big John, Big Bad John
21. On Blueberry Hill
22. Jimmy Durante - Wherever you are.
23. Good night, Chet.
24. Pants on fire
25. Smile you're on Candid Camera
26. He is us
SCORING:
24-26 correct - You're probably 50+ years old
20-23 correct - Most likely in your 40's
15-19 correct - Are we in our 30's?
10-14 correct - Must be in your 20's!!
1- 9 correct - You're, like, sorta a teenage dude?
>>
I missed Wonder Bread, Big John and said Benny, not Durante.
Missing Child
If anyone anywhere knows anything, sees anything, please contact the original screen name that sent this, which isCMINEO0295@aol.com
I
am including a picture of him. All prayers are appreciated!!
It only takes 2 seconds to forward this on, if it was your child, you would want
all the help you could get. Please.
Christopher John Mineo Sr
Stephanie M. Lawton
Office Manager
New York State Independent Living Council, Inc.
111 Washington Avenue, Suite 101
Albany, New York 12210
All prayers are appreciated!!
> > The best prayer I have heard in a long time!
Writing Best Emails each week, because I could,
Pete
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