Best E

This is bizarre but strangely addicting.

You won't want to stop messing with it.

Just use the pointer.

You can change it by clicking on a box at a time in the upper right corner.

Keep your sound on.

- The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in a
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

RETIREES
>
>
>Q. When is a retirees bedtime?
>
>A. Three hours after he falls asleep on Couch.
>
>
>Q. How many retirees to change a light bulb?
>
>A. Only one, but it might take all day.
>
>
>Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
>
>A. There is not enough time to get everything done.
>
>
>Q. Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
>
>A. The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
>
>
>Q. Among retirees what is considered casual attire?
>
>A. Tied shoes.
>
>
>Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
>
>A. They are the only ones who have the time.
>
>
>Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to
>retire?
>
>A. NUTS!
>
>
>Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic
>or garage?
>
>A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids
>will want to store stuff there.
>
>
>Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
>
>A. Normal
>
>
>Q. What is the difference between a worker retiring and a
>student going on summer vacation?
>
>A. None, summer ends but so does the other time frame
>eventually.
>
>
>Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
>
>A. The never ending Coffee Break.
>
>
>Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
>retiree?
>
>A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
>
>
>Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
>misses the people he used to work with?
>
>A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth

ASHKELON, Israel -- With a gentle breeze blowing through this quiet Mediterranean harbor yesterday, a Boston area couple on a sailboat voyage around the world recounted the details of a harrowing brush with Yemeni pirates in the Red Sea and a shootout the couple says could easily have ended with the deaths of five Americans.

Jay Barry and Carol Martini of Gloucester said they survived the ordeal three months ago while sailing through the Gulf of Aden, a busy shipping lane to the Suez Canal that runs between two troubled countries, Yemen and Somalia.

The area, though patrolled by US and allied forces, is a haven for smugglers, sea bandits, and occasionally terrorists. The port city of Aden, on the Yemeni coast, was the site of Al Qaeda's deadly attack in 2000 on the USS Cole, a Navy destroyer.

''We still haven't relaxed from it," Martini told a reporter after sunset yesterday on the deck of The Gandalf, their 47-foot sloop. ''We haven't been to a country since the attack where people don't walk around carrying guns all the time."

Barry, 53, and Martini, 55, said they left Gloucester in late 1999 after Barry sold his Porsche service center in Danvers and Martini took leave from Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, where she worked as a gynecologist....

In Thailand last year, Barry and Martini met another American yachting family, retired Navy veteran Rodney J. Nowlin, his wife Rebecca, and their son Jamee, and the two families agreed to sail their boats across the Gulf of Aden together. Nowlin, whose vessel is named the Mahdi, gave a similar account of the pirate attack in a written report to US and Yemeni authorities on March 11, three days after the attack. The report is posted on www.noonsite.com, a website for global sailors....

Violent Pirate Attack On Two Yachts Off Yemen (from Noonsite.com)

Here is a firsthand account of a pirate attack on two yachts. It took place only 30 miles off the coast of Yemen at 13°28' North 48°07' East on 8 March 5pm local.

This report has been filed with the relevant authorities: the Yemen Coast Guard, Yemen Navy, Aden Port Control, US Coalition 5th Fleet, US Embassy and State Department.

Richard Donaldson-Alves, Controller, Mobile Maritime Net, South East Asian Waters (14,323 MHz 0025 Z daily Wx @ 0055 Z daily)

On 8 March 2005, two sailing yachts, Mahdi & Gandalf, were moving SW 30 miles off the coast of Yemen proceeding to the port of Aden from Salalah, Oman.

At about 0900 two outboard powered boats, about 25 feet long with 3 men in each one, passed off our stern moving south at about 25 knots. An hour or two later they returned, one coming quite close and looking us over carefully. The second boat passed our bows but quite a ways away. These boats were obviously not engaged in a normal activity such as fishing, etc. At that time we were south of Al Mukalla, Yemen. The area around Al Mukalla is well documented as being a piracy problem area and we started watching carefully for anything out of the ordinary. At about 1600 we observed two different boats approaching us head on from the SW. These boats were 25-30 feet long, had higher freeboard and diesel powered. They were coming very fast directly at us. There were 4 men in each boat. The boats separated at about 200 yards, one boat ahead of the other, coming down Mahdi’s port side and firing into the cockpit. The other boat was firing an automatic weapon at both Gandalf and Mahdi from ahead, more at Gandalf. These guys were shooting directly at the cockpits, and obviously intended to kill us. The first boat swung around behind Mahdi’s stern to come up and board us. At that point I, Rod Nowlin aboard Mahdi and armed with a 12 gage shotgun loaded with 00 buckshot, started shooting into their boat. I forced them to keep their heads down so that they could not shoot at us. I am not sure I hit anyone at that point although I could see the driver of the boat crouched down behind a steering console. After firing 3 shots at them their engine started to smoke and I swung around to shoot at the boat ahead. At that point, I saw Jay Barry on Gandalf ram that boat amidships almost cutting it in two and turning it almost completely over. I turned back around to shoot again at the boat behind Mahdi and that is when they turned away from Mahdi and were heading toward the stern of Gandalf. Gandalf was beside us, about 100 feet away. The bow of the pirate’s boat came right up against Gandalf’s stern and two men stood up on the bow to board Gandalf. That was a serious and probably fateful error on their part. I shot both of them. That boat then veered away and I shot the driver, although I am not sure of the outcome because they were farther away and I did not knock him down like the other two.

Mahdi and Gandalf kept going at full speed to put as much distance between the pirates and us as possible. As soon as we were out of rifle range we looked back and both boats were drifting and appeared to be disabled.

If Jay on Gandalf had not had the presence of mind to veer over into one boat and ram it, the outcome of this attack would have been totally different. All they needed to do was stand off a ways and shoot us to pieces with automatic weapons. We were extremely lucky. We broadcast Mayday calls on all VHF and HF radio frequencies, including two HF emergency frequencies supplied by the US Coast Guard a few days before. The Coalition Forces in the area were supposed to be monitoring these frequencies. There was no response except from a commercial ship in the area on VHF 16 who approached and observed the disabled pirates for a bit, then sailed along side of us for 2-4 hours until dark to make sure we would be all right.

The pirates were well organized and well armed. There were at least 4 boats involved. They had set up a picket line out from the Yemen coast probably at least for 50-75 miles, so if you transited the area during the day they wouldn’t miss you. The two boats that attacked us appeared to have come from the south.

There has been speculation in the past that this ongoing piracy problem off the Yemen coast was being carried out by Somali pirates. Given the number, type of boats involved, and the direction the spotter boats came from, this does not appear to be correct in this case. This problem is getting worse and the pirate attacks are getting deadly. One could only expect that the Yemen Government will take more direct action. At the very least, allow yachts to group in Salalah, Oman and at some point on the NW Yemen coast to request an escort along the Yemen coast.

Subject: The Planet Mars
> >
> > The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is
> > catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest
> > approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars
> > may come this close is in 2287.
> >
> > Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit,
> > astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to
Earth
> > in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it
> > happens again. The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars
comes
> > to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the
> > brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9
and
> > will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide, at a modest 75-power magnification.
> >
> > By August 27, Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
> > Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in
the
> > east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of
August
> > when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach
> > its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty convenient to
see
> > something that no human being has seen in recorded history.
> >
> > So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow
> > progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. .
> >
> > NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN.
> >
> >
> >
>