Best E-mails of the Week 06/09/02

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy
night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people
waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing
that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually
used by Microsoft as part of a job application.  You
could pick up the old lady, because she needs medical
attention, and thus you should save her first; or you
could take the old friend because he once saved your
life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him
back in a small way. However, you may never be able to
find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had
no trouble coming up with his answer.

THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>  Just a little more...........
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>  Keep going.........................
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>  The Answer:

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my
old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I
would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of
my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our
stubborn thought limitations.  Never forget to "Think
Outside of the Box."
 

For Those Who Can't Understand The Enron Case, this is put in the
simplest form, so that every one can understand.
An old country farmer with serious financial problems bought a mule from
 another old farmer for $100, who agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
 However, the next day he drove up and said,
  "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The mule died."
  "Well, then, just give me my money back."
 "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
  "OK, then. Just unload the mule."
  "What ya gonna do with a dead mule?"
  "I'm going to raffle him off."
  "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
  "Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
  A month later the two met up and the farmer who sold the mule
  asked, "Whatever happened with that dead mule?"
  "I raffled him off just like I said I would. I sold 500
  tickets at $2 each and made a profit of $898."
  "Didn't anyone complain?"
  "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
 
  How would you like to buy a raffle ticket?
 

Skinny Dipping

This fellow had owned this large farm
for several years.
He had a large pond in the back forty,
had it fixed up nice, picnic tables,
horse shoe courts, basketball court, etc.
The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down
to the pond as he hadn't been there for a while
and look it over. As he neared the pond,
he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw
it was a bunch of young women
skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence
and they all went to the deep end of the pond.
One of the women shouted to him,
"We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied,
"I didn't come down here
to watch you ladies swim
or get out of the pond,
I only came to feed my alligators!"

The trouble in the world today is that men think too much about sex and not enough about religion,

and women think too much about religion and not enough about sex?

You live in California when...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You live in New York City when...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You live in upstate New York when...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You live in the Deep South when...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in Colorado when...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3.A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You live in Florida when...

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5.  Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

Pete Trevino