Best E-mails of the Week 06/01/02

Notable Quotes:

If you could live forever, would you and why?  Answer: "I would not live
forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to
live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which
is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA
contest. 
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I
can't help but cry.  I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey >
"Smoking kills.  If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life," -- Brooke Shields
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.>
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. >
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees," -- Jason Kidd, upon his
drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.>
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.  We are
the president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
documents.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies
manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.  It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut
right out from under your feet," -- Former British foreign minister,Ernest
Bevin.
"I love California.  I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds  could go one way or
another" -- George Bush, US President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee
Iacocca
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"-- Colonel Oliver North, from
his Iran-Contra testimony. 

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.  A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFLfootball quarterback

"We don't necessarily discriminate.  We simply exclude certain types of
people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al
Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel
Enderbery

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable." -- Dan Quayle

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago!" -- Dan Quayle, VP

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
notice that you passed away. May God bless you.  You may reapply if there
is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services,
Greenville, South Carolina
 

Here is a page from this week's TV News Daily.  Way to go cousin Barb!

TV: NEWS: NEWS DAILY
	WHAT'S ON? Enter Your Zip For Personalized TV Listings:
		EMAIL THIS STORY TNN Sets Up 'Blind Date' Tue, May 28, 2002 05:00 PM PDT   LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - All those unlucky souls who've been rejected on "Blind Date" in recent years are getting another chance. To relive the experience. Cable network TNN has picked up second-run rights to the dating show and will begin airing it in January. New episodes of the syndicated series will continue to run on broadcast stations. "Blind Date" has been on the air since 1999 and has helped breathe life into the once-moribund dating show genre. Cameras follow a couple on a first date, with snarky captions and thought bubbles aiding host Roger Lodge in providing a commentary on how the daters are doing. The show is a "perfect fit for ... TNN's young adult audience," says Barbara Zaneri, senior vice president of acquisitions for the network. "Its unique spin on dating and relationships reflects the attitudes and tastes of our viewers."

TIPS ON STAYING SAFE...FOR WOMEN.

I learned from my children's karate classes that the elbow is the strongest
point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail
lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The
driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Last night I attended a personal safety workshop, and it jolted me. It was
given by an amazing man, Pat Malone, who has been a body guard for famous
figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for the FBI
and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand-to-hand combat.

This man has seen it all, and knows a lot. He focused his teachings to us
on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some
statistics about how much the occurrences of random violence have escalated
over the recent years, and it's terrible. Something like 99% of us will be
exposed to, or become a victim of a violent crime.

     Here are some of the most important points that I got out of his
     presentation:

     (1.) The three reasons women are easy targets for random acts of
     violence are:

     (a.) Lack of Awareness You MUST know where you are & what's going on
     around you.

     (b.) Body Language Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight
     up.

     (c.) Wrong Place, Wrong Time DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in
     a bad neighborhood at night.

     (2.) Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
     eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making
     a list, etc.). DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and
     this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side,
     put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.


     AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

     (a.) A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or
     parking garage: Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the
     passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

     (b.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
     passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
     them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their
     cars.

     (c.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and
     the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat
     nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work,
     and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

     IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than
     dead.)

     (3.) ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
     horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

     4) If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS
     RUN!
     (a.)The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.
     And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

     (5.) As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may
     get you raped, or killed.

     (a.) Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well educated
     man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He
     walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his
     vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

     (b.) Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the
     mall and was walking to her car when she noticed 2 older ladies in
     front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with cops who
     said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were
     empty. As she neared her car she saw a man a few rows over calling to
     her for help. He wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was
     sitting in

     the back on the driver's side, and said he was handicapped. He
     continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall, and
     then he began cursing at her. In the meantime, she wondered why he
     didn't ask the 2 older ladies, or the policeman for help, and why he
     was not parked in any of the empty handicap spots. As she got back to
     the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she told them
     the story, and turned to point at the car, the man was getting out
     of the back seat into the front, and the car sped away.
     DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.