Best E-mails of the Week 4/13/03

EASTER BUNNY
>
>A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter
>Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting
>the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was
>hit.
>The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.
>
>The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over
>to
>the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny
>carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.
>
>The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
>
>A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of
>the
>road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what
>was
>wrong.
>
>"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and
>killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do? "
>
>The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went
>to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp,
>dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little
>furry
>animal.
>
>Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the
>spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down
>the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and
>hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50
>yards and waved again!!!!
>
>The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in
>your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
>
>The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
>
>It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
 

A man went to his barber to get a haircut before he left on a trip to
Rome. He was telling his barber about the trip when the barber
said, "Rome? Why would anyone go there? It's crowded and dirty! So,
how are you getting there?"
"We're flying on TWA," the man told him.
"TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible choice! The planes
are old and the flight attendants are ugly. Where are you staying in
Rome?"
"Oh, we're at the downtown Marriott."
"What? That dump with its overpriced rooms and poor service? Well,
what are you doing when you get there?" the barber griped.
"Going to the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"Yeah? Well good luck. A million people want to see the Pope. You'll
never get close. But good luck to you. You'll probably need it."
Finishing the cut, the barber handed him his coat.
A month later, the man was back for another cut. The barber asked
about the trip to Rome. "Oh, it was wonderful. We were on a brand new
plane and it was so overcrowded we got bumped to first class, where a
wonderful stewardess waited on us hand and foot. And the hotel
was fantastic! They had just finished remodeling and were overbooked,
so they gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!
"Well, I know you didn't get to see the Pope," the surly barber
grumbled.
"Oh, but we did!" the man exclaimed. "We toured the Vatican and were
chosen to personally meet the Pope! I actually knelt down as he spoke
a few words to me!"
"Really?" the barber wondered, impressed despite himself. "What did
he say?"

"He said, 'Where'd you get that lousy haircut?'"

Jay Leno said last week that when he was going to work, he heard that the war was going terribly. 

That the US was bogged down, civilians were being killed and the Iraqi resistance was fierce. 

On the way home, everything was going great.  The Republican guard had surrendered. 

We had Baghdad surrounded. Our killed in action numbers were the lowest ever for such a major campaign. 

The difference Jay said was that in the morning he was tuned to NPR radio,

and in the evening, he listened to Fox News.

Who Reads the Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crosswords.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the
country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave
LA to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a
seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the
country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there
is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also
happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they
are Democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but need the baseball scores.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
 

This picture is entitled Rear View Mirror in Iraq

CNN live interview with Martin Savidge on Sunday, 30 March 2003:
>
>   Martin Savidge of CNN, embedded with the 1st Marine battalion, 1st
> Marine Division, was talking with 4 young Marines near his foxhole
> this morning live on CNN. He had been telling the story of how well
> the Marines had been looking out for and taking care of him since the
> war started. He went on to tell about the many hardships the Marines
> had endured since the war began and how they all look after one
> another.
>
>   He turned to the four and said he had cleared it with their
> commanders and they could use his video phone to call home.  None of
> these Marines had been able to talk with their families for many
> weeks.  The 19 year old Marine next to him asked Martin if he would
> allow his platoon sergeant to use his call to call his pregnant wife
> back home whom he had not been able to talk to in over a month.  A
> stunned Savidge, who was visibly moved by the request, nodded his head
> - yes.  The young Marine ran off to get the sergeant.
>
>   Savidge recovered after a few seconds and turned back to the three
> young Marines still sitting with him.  He asked which one of them
> would like to call home first?  The Marine closest to him responded
> with out a moments hesitation, "Sir, if is all the same to you we
> would like to call the parents of a buddy of ours. Lance Cpl Brian
> Buesing of Cedar Key, Florida, who was killed on the 23rd of March
> near Nasiriya.  We would like to see how his folks are doing and let
> them know their son died bravely."
>
>   At that Martin Savidge totally broke down and was unable to speak.
> All he could get out before signing off was, "Where do they get young
> men like this?"

Although Taiwan will have the tallest building in the world later this year,

New York will eventually again have the tallest (structure or building?)

rising from the ashes of the World Trade Center.

 It will be 1776 feet tall after our year of independence. 

Here is the bio of the Polish born architect selected to design it.

The Good Old Days
 
Is it just me,
or do the rest of you
long for those days
when taking the wife and mother-in-law out
for that Sunday drive in the country
wasn't so bad?
 
Life was so simple back then......

Pete