Best E-mails of the Week 4/06/03

BENTONVILLE, ARK (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample
a new discount item -- Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest
retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to
produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine
connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine
into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy
Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I.
She said: "The right name is important."

So, here are the top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: 


12. Château Traileur Parc
11. White Trashfindel
10. Big Red Gulp
9. Grape Expectations
8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
7. NASCARbernet
6. Chef Boyardeaux
5. Peanut Noir
4. Château des Moines
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Riesling
And the number 1 choice of name for Wal-Mart Wine ...
1. Nasti Spumante

And who says they don't know wine in Arkansas?

A young Italian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and
> > > that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to
> > >bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm gong to marry." The
> > >mother agrees.
> > >
> > > The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits
> > >them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma,
> > >guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one on
       the right." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
> > >
> > > The Italian mother replies "I don't like her.

  (Contrast this to all the Italian moms I know.  They happen to adore their daughters in law.)
 
 

Computer Problems

I was having trouble with my computer.  So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over.  Rick
clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.  He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.  As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:  "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I
need to fix it again?"

The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"  "No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote out "ID 10 T."

>What is the Iraqi air force motto?
>  I came, I saw, Iran.
>
>Have you heard about the new Iraqi air force exercise program?
>  Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them     
>there.
>
>What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad?
>  Two days.
>
>What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
>  They both have Kurds in their way.
>
>What is the best Iraqi job?
>  Foreign ambassador.
>
>Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
>  You only have to teach them to take off.
>
>How do you play Iraqi bingo?
>  B-52 ... F-16 ... B-52
>
>What is Iraq's national bird?
>  Duck.
>
>What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
>  They both want to know where the heck  those Tomahawks are coming
>    from!
>
>Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats?
>  So they can see their air force.

Here is a picture of our air force enhanced to show it is protected by an angel.

http://www.webspirations.net/angelplane/index.htm

Our POW rescued from an Iraqi hospital with torture chamber in the basement had come from a West Virginia town where unemployment is 15%. High school grads there either walk the streets, go to college (but it costs $ they don't have), or enter the military.  In order to be a kindergarten teacher, this petit young lady, who played right field on her high school softball team for 4 years, joined the army so she could go to college later.  She had never been to a city as large as 200,000 pop Charleston, WV until she graduated high school.  A year later, she wrote to her friend:

"I've been traveling so much, but it's cool, because I want to," she wrote to Mrs. Davies on Feb. 21, adding: "Keep me and all soldiers in your prayers and thoughts, and we will do our best to protect you all."

Pfc. Jessica Lynch, rescued Tuesday from an Iraqi hospital, fought fiercely and shot several enemy soldiers after Iraqi forces ambushed the Army's 507th Ordnance Maintenance Company, firing her weapon until she ran out of ammunition, U.S. officials said yesterday.

Lynch, a 19-year-old supply clerk, continued firing at the Iraqis even after she .... watched several other soldiers in her unit die around her in fighting March 23, one official said. The ambush took place after a 507th convoy, supporting the advancing 3rd Infantry Division, took a wrong turn near the southern city of Nasiriyah.

"She was fighting to the death," the official said. "She did not want to be taken alive."

Compare this future college student to Professor De Genova speaking to 3000 college students at a rally while Lynch was being denied food for 8 days.:

'U.S. flags are the emblem of the invading war machine in Iraq today. They are the emblem of the occupying power. The only true heroes are those who find ways that help defeat the U.S. military."

Those words were spoken last week by Nicholas De Genova, a professor of anthropology and Latin American studies at Columbia University. De Genova went on, in words that will long shame his university, to call on U.S. soldiers to "frag" (i.e., murder) their officers and to wish "for a million Mogadishus," referring to the 1993 ambush in Somalia that left 18 U.S. soldiers dead and 84 wounded.

What kind of person spews this kind of hatred? Here is his resume. He certainly can use big words.

Nicholas de Genova's curriculum vitae

After I complained to Columbia as many alumni did, I received a call and this official message regarding Nick.

Peter,

FYI
Deborah

President Bollinger's Recent Statement on Assistant Professor De Genova's Comments

I am appalled by Assistant Professor De Genova's outrageous comments. I
want to assure you that his comments in no way represent my views nor anyone with whom I
have spoken at the University. His comments were not made in a classroom, but rather at
a teach-in, at which the University does not prescribe what is said or who speaks.
Assistant Professor De Genova was exercising his freedom of speech when he
made those remarks. However, free speech does not insulate him from criticism. Our
faculty and students have not been silent in their denunciation of his remarks.
While Nicholas De Genova's words properly invite anger and sharp rebuke,
there are few things more precious on any University campus than freedom of thought and
expression.
That is the teaching of the First Amendment and I believe it should be the
principle we live by at Columbia University.
I appreciate your adding your voice to those who have expressed their
opinions. At a time of war, when American troops are in harm's way, his comments are especially
disturbing. I am particularly saddened for the families of those whose lives are at risk and
who must endure the pain provoked by his statements.
Lee C. Bollinger
April 3, 2003


Deborah xxxxxxx
Senior Development Officer
University Development and Alumni Relations
Columbia University in New York
 

Brad, 

A fly or a virus?

Peter

Greg,

Thanks for emailing me your first term grades. 

You might not be at Columbia, but you sure are getting it done at Tech son.

Go to www.google.com and type your phone number (###-###-####).  Anyone
knowing your phone number can easily find out exactly where you live.  So
much for privacy!

P.S. If you contact Google, they will remove your number from the search
path.  http://www.google.com/remove.html

From a great billboard in Manhattan: Honk if you love peace and quiet.

And the inscription on a clock in a Madison Avenue shop: The Secret of Life is enjoying the passage of time.

Pete