Best E-mails of the Week 04/04/04.   

 

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says...

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
 
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000,
and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"


 
(you're gonna love this)



 
 
 
 
The bank manager looks back at her and says.........


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you?)

 

 

Here is a weird game to get us ready for the summer season when the flies fly.

USE THE LEFT MOUSE BUTTON

http://www.shockhaber.com/zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.htm

PS Why did the Fly fly? Because the Spider spied her.

 

 

April Fools was uneventful, but here are some interesting hoaxes over the years:

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/aprilfool2.html

 

 

This is VERY nostalgic...enjoy!

 

http://www.biomagic.com/email/eud2.html

 

 

Peter, great words to put on your website and share with the 'world!'  Sue
 
1. The best way to get even is to forget.

2. Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.

3. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

4. Some folks wear their halos much too tight.

5. Some marriages are made in heaven, but they ALL have to be maintained on earth.

6. Unless you can create the WHOLE universe in 5 days, then perhaps giving "advice" to God, isn't such a good idea!

7. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up.

8. Standing in the middle of the road is dangerous. You will get knocked down by the traffic from both directions.

9. Words are windows to the heart.

10. A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it's a forgery.

11. It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill, just add a
little dirt.

12. A successful marriage isn't finding the right person; it's workimg together. 


13. The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.

14. Too many people offer God prayers with claw marks all over them.

15. The tongue must be heavy
, indeed, because so few people can hold it.

16. To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover the
prisoner was you.


17. You have to wonder about some people, they think God is dead and Elvis is alive!

18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again.  Just be
sure to flush when you are done.

19. You'll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out
its neck.

20. If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet
the water bill is higher.

 

You are richer today if you have laughed, given, or forgiven.

 

 

 

Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

 

Pete, some of these are great.  If you need stuff for your website, feel
free to use them.  Sue

 

 

Pete   

 

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