Best E-mails of the Week 3/16/03

 

 

YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2002



Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

 

 

Subject:  Did you know?


 

 
Did you know???
>
> The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred
> and Wilma Flintstone.
>
> Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
>
> Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
>
> Coca-Cola was originally green.
>
> It is impossible to lick your elbow.
>
> The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
>
> The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
> The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
>
> The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
>
> The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:61,000
>
> Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
>
> The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
>
> The youngest pope was 11 years old.
>
> The first novel ever written on a type writer: Tom Sawyer.
>
> Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
>
> 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

> If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
> air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
> the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
> all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

> Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
> Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
> last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
>
> "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
>
> Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks
> like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
>
> Q: What occurs more often in December than any other month?
>          A: Conception.
>
> Q: Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
         A: Their birthplace

> Q: Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
 requested?
>          A: Obsession

> Q: If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
> you would find the letter "A"?
>          A: One thousand
>
> Q: What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
> printers all have in common?
>          A: All invented by women.

> Q: What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
>          A: Honey
>
> Q: There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the
> year?
          A: Father's Day
>
> Q: What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most
> ironic?
          A: He was allergic to carrots.

> Q: What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
>          A: Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
>
> In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
> When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
> to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."
>
> It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
> after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
> the mead he could drink.  Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
> was lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as
> the honeymoon.
>
> In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England,
> when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own
> pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your
> P's and Q's"
>
> Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
> rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
> the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired
> by this practice.
>
> In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only
> Ladies Forbidden ... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
> language.
>
>  AND FINALLY
> >
> At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
>

 

Weapons Inspectors in Iraq:

http://www.electrongate.com/fotos/inspect.gif

 

Here is how the FBI monitors what you look at on your computer:

http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/index.html


 

If you read Newsweek this week you probably saw Debbi Gardiner's article

about her great-great uncle Richard Pearse of New Zealand. She says:

"Many New Zealanders believe Pearse was the first person to fly."

On March 31, 1903, a few months before the Wrights launched their flyer

Pearse "built and flew a bamboo-framed mono-wing airplane far enough

and high enough to crash-land on a 12' high gorge hedge."

But the article fails to mention that Pearse flew something like the picture below,

and it did not have an engine like the Wright Flyer (Best emails 01/12/03)

A google search shows that he launched from 30' high, unlike the Wrights, who

lifted their bird.  Pearse's glider bike probably didn't have the control of

Otto Lilienthal's glider from seven years earlier either.

Here is a replica of what Pearse's plane might have looked like.

Replica of first aircraft.
 

 

I just finished reading a wonderful book my Aunt Lorraine wrote called Hand in Hand,

I want to share with you how our family was blessed with such a great older generation. 

Here are excerpts as my aunt describes her parents

and her husband's parents who are my grandparents:

 

Letty from page 3:

As young as I was (in the late 1930’s) I was so aware that my Mom was the epitome of the perfect wife, homemaker and a Mother like no other.  She was always bright and cheerful, looking so feminine and immaculately groomed in her favorite color blue.  Everyone was drawn to her!  She would always see to it that both of us were freshly bathed and changed for my Dad’s arrival home each night so that we’d “look presentable for Daddy”, as she would say.  Our home, always fragrant and spotless was so lovingly cared for.  There was always beautiful music playing and Mom was always singing as she cooked and baked, filling our home with such savory aromas!  I can remember her colorful shelves of canned fruits and all the lovely jams she loved to preserve and how good they all tasted!  Even more, Mom was always only too happy to have me at her elbow, teaching me as she’d go about her chores, so that to this day, I still hear her voice whenever I go about my own tasks.  And friends, mine and theirs, were always so warmly welcomed into our home.

 

Frank (page 16):

Together, Mom and Dad’s lives were full, joyful and rewarding as they enjoyed a large circle of friends whom they visited with regularly, playing cards, going to shows and on vacations.  In later years, Dad’s 4th Degree membership in the Knights of Columbus had them attending many formal affairs, he in his handsome tuxedo and Mom in her long formal dresses.  Most of their dearest friends were couples who were similarly involved in the Knights, Catholic Daughters and (Church) Choir.

 

Josephine (my Grandmother) (page 23):

While (building our) house one Sunday, we had eaten our usual Sunday dinner which I had prepared on our little two-burner stove.  Then, sometime afterward, several friends and relatives came up the drive to help (my husband).  They worked so hard with him all afternoon and as suppertime approached, I could not imagine how I would feed them all.  Mom and Pop had come up too and I expressed my concern to her.  (In those days, no stores were open on Sunday, so I really was at a loss.)  Mom asked me what I had left over from lunch.  I showed her I had some cooked macaroni and sauce, as well as a couple of meatballs and sausages.  And I did have some more salad ingredients.  “Do you have any bread?”, she asked.  Yes, I did have a couple of loaves, but what??  “Let me have then” she said.  Whereupon, she mashed everything I had, forming a “sandwich spread” of sorts.  She then split both loaves of bread lengthwise, spread the mixture across each loaf, sandwiched them together and then cut them into individual sandwiches!  We fed an army that early evening and I’ve never forgotten it.  But mainly, I’ll NEVER forget Mom’s ingenuity.

 

James (my grandfather) (page 23):

By the spring of 1963 (my husband) was putting the finishing touches on our lovely fireplace and then when he was ready, Pop came up to help him with the chimney.  There was Pop, on the roof, white shirt and fedora, at the ripe “young” age of 71, showing (his son) how to point up the chimney!  That man was a legend!

 

Grandpa continued on page 45:

At the grand age of 92, Grandpa followed Grandma into heaven.  Just a couple of days before he died, he told me he was going ahead to prepare a place for all of us in heaven.  What wonderfully indelible memories this dear family patriarch left for each of us!

  I'll see them all there someday too!

 

 

Here are pictures of the shuttle supposedly taken from an Israeli satellite,

but why are they not published in the media?

Are they real? Consensus so far is "No way".

Ah the power of photo software!

 
 

 

The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/.  

It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII. 

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! 

Here are a few interpretations

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

 

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run away

 

Hurricanes, dead fish and bio hazard signs have a lot in common.  Think about it.

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically

 If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

 

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

 

After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

 

If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor

Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

 

 A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

 

 

Mary loves Florida in the winter!  Here we were in Naples.

 

 

Pete

 


 

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