Best E-mails of the Week 03/09/02
Weird Things You Would Never Know!!
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed
to
take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
A snail can sleep for three years.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
"Go.." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
It must all be true because it's on the internet?
Here is a letter published in the current issue of SKYDIVING Magazine, by brother
Jim.
Sue Clifton, Editor, DeLand, Fla.
Hello. I have enjoyed your publication since my first issue many years ago. I credit Mike Truffer and all the staff
for keeping the jumpers of the USA and of the World, tuned in to all the amazing aspects of our sport.
I would like to send to you my Reader Response to the 3 questions which were posed in my September 2001 issue.
Perhaps you will consider them for publication. Thanks, Jimmy T.
What skydiving accessory(anything other than your main, reserve, and rig) do you consider a necessity that you
can't jump without?
My first jumps were made in the early 1970's in autumn & winter in upstate New York. Besides paratrooper boots,
motorcycle helmets, long johns, jumpsuits with kneepads and thick gloves, heavy duty eye protection in the form
of skiing goggles, was considered necessary.
Since I have almost always worn prescription glasses, the resident "experts" determined I should wear
these huge and distracting goggles over my glasses. So it is no wonder that I never saw the ground, while in freefall,
for my first 25 jumps.
I quickly tossed aside that bothersome eyewear, and simply began using an elastic sport strap to secure my glasses
whenever I jumped. It has worked very well. I have never had to worry about "where are my goggles" or
"my goggles are fogging". In all the years I have only had one pair of prescription lenses blown off
my head.
It was when we launched a diamond from a CASA. I was not wearing a helmet and the jump was worth the loss. Before
the boogie was over someone had found the eyeglass strap, while walking back from a bad spot. No glasses, but it
was a fun skydive.
I keep a variety of them in my gearbag and jumpsuit pockets, and Must have one on my eyeglasses before I ever head
to the plane. The airflow in freefall has never bothered me, and so this $1.99 piece of equipment ranks right up
there with the most expensive gear, on my list of "Must Have" skydiving accessories.
What is the single most important thing that you look for in a drop zone?
Smiles. ……… on the faces of people who appear to be the "local experienced crowd", on the faces of the
people who appear to be the "local student crowd" and on the faces of people who are the drop zone support
staff.
Anything less than that and regardless of the facilities, the number of jumps being made, or the type of aircraft,
I might approach that DZ a bit cautiously………..but with a smile on my face!
If you could pick one person you'd really like to make a jump with, who would it be?.
In light of recent historical circumstances, I would like to make a jump with one Osama bin Laden.
Because he fancies himself a trainer of men , an instructor of sorts, I would provide him with 2 competent AFF
instructors, would join them to video, would provide him with a sense of security, and would exit at 14,000 Feet.
Then by treachery conspiracy and ambush, which are things this man also advocates, my friends and I would systematically
relieve him of his 3 ring release handle, peel out his main risers, get down into his reserve risers, and methodically
hook knife, one, two, or maybe all four reserve risers. This accomplished by 6 grand or so, we would then toss
him from our grip, like so much garbage, and track away.
He might then experience the physiological and emotional maelstrom which many unintending freefallers felt, in
New York City, during the the fateful and fatal event which he had enabled.
It would not be necessary to issue this student a log book or a first jump certificate.
Here is Jim (in blue) videotaping me (in the white jumpsuit) during my first tandem jump last Sept. over Lake Ontario.
Life with computers
Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin'"
yet. This is
an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because
of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The
cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting,
the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper- by holding it in front of the monitor screen
-and hitting the, "Send" key.
4. Yet another, Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling
up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad
and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had
said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but
that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring
the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal"turned
out to be the computer's mouse.
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked
the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and
that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the
third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied
to- remove Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting
that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional
at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this
point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had
been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
(Mine holds my wine glass just fine.)
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech
asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the
door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is
working fine."
STATE MOTTOS
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's
Don't Own It-Yet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To
Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not,
But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's
Our Tourism Campaign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax
Brackets)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michigan: First Line Of Defense >From The Canadians
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing
Crazies, And Very Little Else
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##!
Motto Right Here!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To
An Attorney....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't
Actually Surrender
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tennessee: The Educashun State
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vermont: Yep
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?
My, how our expectations have changed...
Teaching Math 1970:
A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money.
The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar.
Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M."
The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M."
Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question:
What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
Teaching Math in 1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math in 1990:
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question:
How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?
There are no wrong answers.
Teaching Match in 2000:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $120.
How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?
From 12,000 ft., with year one uploaded,
